Justin Shronk – Funny Mother F’er.

Here is a recent article from his Pokerazzi column on Pokerroad, to get full appreciation of this: go watch the most recent 2008 WSOP coverage ($1k rebuy that Banducci wins)…then read this:

…..So here we go, ESPN’s coverage of Event #5, the $1,000 with Rebuys.

NOTE: I’m going to try signing on AIM under the name ‘ShronkDaddy’ during the WSOP coverage in case anyone reading this wants to chat while watching. The real reason is that hopefully someone says something funny to me via AIM, and I can steal it for the blog.
5:00pm – I keep getting over-excited for the WSOP coverage. I remember ESPN filming a lot fewer events than it appears they actually did, so I keep thinking the $50k HORSE is going to be on.

5:01 – Note to ESPN: Do not start your coverage with the line, “You might not know any of their names… .” If you got unlucky and no “big name” pros are at the final table, you should do your best NOT to draw attention to that.

5:02 – I was thinking “Lyric” was a pretty cool screenname. Then I find out that it’s the kid’s real first name and it’s less cool…especially since the kid’s last name is Duveycover or something (actually turns out it’s Duveyoung).

5:03 – The guy’s reshove with A-Q is really weird. Him yelling “ACEY IN YOUR FACEY!” was creepy.

5:11 – The fact that it’s “your signature” doesn’t excuse you from wearing a women’s hat on national television. It does, however, make you a moron (Alan Jaffray).

5:13 – “People that look at the hat and go ‘Are you really wearing that?’ – they’re usually not the people I want to hang out with.” That means Alan Jaffrey won’t be hanging out with two groups of people: 1) Me. 2) Rational humans.

5:14 – If Player A has 500,000 in chips and raises to 110,000 and Player B with 984,000 moves all in, he is moving in for 500,000, not “almost a million.”

5:19 – I really like this Lyric kid, which is odd because I usually hate hippies.

5:20 – HA! They just mentioned that the Lyric kid is the founder of DonkeyTest. I had been emailing back and forth with him a bunch over the summer about doing something with the radio show and hadn’t ever made the connection…which is weird because that means that I thought there were two guys in poker named “Lyric.” Also, DonkeyTest is a pretty cool site. Check it out.
5:23 – “There’s something about the stage and not wearing shoes that makes you want to moonwalk” – Alan Jaffrey. Alan, I’ll take your word for it, because normal people don’t take their shoes off on the ESPN stage.

5:25 – Wow. Michael Banducci turns what was the best hand until the river into a bluff by going for a check-raise on the river, then Jonathan Aguilar decides not to miss any value by betting with his rivered pair of jacks. These guys are so far above my head.

5:29 – Jocobo Fernandez – 160 (at the time) Player of the Year points, 0 WSOP episode appearances, 0 minutes of screentime

Mrs. Hinkle – 0 Player of the Year points, 2 WSOP episode appearances, approx. 20 minutes of screentime

5:31 – These interweb technowizards are good. I’m so lost in some of these hands. It’s almost as if the holecards and the board are totally irrelevant…in which case, I’m not sure what becomes relevant.

5:32 – Lon refers to the fact that so many of the Internet kids talk through hands together as “groupthink.” That’s not what “groupthink” means. In fact, what Jeff Williams and his friends were demonstrating is actually almost the exact OPPOSITE of what groupthink:

“Groupthink is a type of thought exhibited by group members who try to minimize conflict and reach consensus without critically testing, analyzing, and evaluating ideas.”
It’s also almost exclusively used as a pejorative, which is the opposite context that Lon was implying. How does no one at ESPN catch this stuff?

5:37 – The over/under on how many times they mention Jeff Williams’ EPT win is ten.

5:47 – “My son’s a winning player” – Peter Gould. That’s a pretty weak brag by a father. That would be like saying, “My son just brought his report card…look at this! 78% in every class! I’m so proud.”

5:51 – “Ship it to the better hat!” – Alan Jaffray when all-in. You don’t really want that, sir. Every single person in the world other than you would get something shipped to them. I haven’t disliked someone I haven’t met this much since … well, two weeks ago (Mike Ngo).

5:54 – Actually, there was someone else who was ready to wear a lady’s hat on television. It was Tom Dwan at the WPT Championship, and it was because he lost a huge prop bet. Note: If you’re about to do something voluntarily that someone else would only do if they lost a huge bet, it’s probably a stupid idea.

5:55 – Nice random shove with Q-J Alan. How can you go over to high-five your friends and miss all ten of them? Also, you’re not allowed to tell ESPN you’re running “bad” in your interview before a final table.

6:01 – Yet ANOTHER note to Alan Jaffray: If one of your nicknames is “twinkletoes”, and the other is an actual woman’s name (“Penelope”), that’s something you want to NOT tell the national television network on which you’re about to appear.

6:03 – Michael Banducci’s online name (“WorldsGreatest”) was arrogant enough before they revealed that, not only did his girlfriend suggest it, but that it comes from an R. Kelly song. “WorldsGreatest” is officially the “World’s Worst Screenname” (He just knocked out the hat-dude though, so I forgive him).

6:05 – Jeff Williams and I have some mutual friends, but I’ve never met him. After this, I’d really like to though; he seems like a really cool kid. Plus, I don’t know that many people with super curly hair.

6:08 – Ram Vaswani is one of Peter Gould’s railbirds. They showed him standing up during a hand in which Peter was all-in. He was doing the Pam-and-Jim-iPod-Earbud-Sharing thing from The Office with the chick next to him. When you’re railing someone, the most exciting time is when they’re involved in an all-in pot, but Ram was still bored enough to need music to pass the time.

6:12 – Norman Chad talking about Jeff Williams looking flustered: “He does have the 8th grader mumbling.” … ok, that’s pretty funny.

6:16 – Lon should be prohibited from using terms like “range of hands” until he’s proven that he knows what they mean.

6:24 – Nothing cool is happening.

6:25 – Jimmy Fricke confirms via AIM that Jeff Williams is indeed a cool kid: “Yup.”

6:27 – “Peter says people play a lot more level-headed live than online. If you ask me, these guys have been more live than level-headed”… I see what you did there, Norm.

6:29 – Norman Chad goes to Jen Harman’s house with a “challenge involving her kids.” This will either be disastrous or hilarious – nothing in between.

6:31 – Jen says she should win since she dressed her twins in less than ten minutes while answering all of Norm’s questions. I contend that she should lose because I think she got one of the questions wrong when she said, “Marco is a better tournament player than me”… oh, and for the record – disastrous.

6:39 – Norm. We get it. The English guy has a thick accent.

6:40 – Weird Railbird Spotting: It looks like Marc Goodwin is part of Peter Gould’s cheering section. I guess Marc would be considered a “pro.” I don’t know that I’ve ever actually seen him win anything, but he has the truly unique distinction of being the only person in the world still sponsored by Mansion Poker. Seriously.

6:48 – On a board of 10-2-3-J-9 no suits, Peter Gould (with Q-2) makes the 3rd weirdest river check-raise of all time.

6:50 – I like that Peter snap-calls with hands like K-10, but tanks with two tens. If he wasn’t so bad, that would be a slowroll.

6:53 – HORSE next week – FINALLY. I don’t know that I’ve anticipated a TV event this much since last season’s LOST finale (ok, not that great a description since that wasn’t that long ago). I don’t know what it is, but a lot of the people I know who had become disillusioned about television poker have shown a renewed sense of excitement over this year’s WSOP coverage. I think it’s partially that it was “the year of the pro” and partially because the market is less saturated now (I miss PokerDome … not really).

6:56 – “Handling actual chips is rare for these Internet pros.” Lon, that’s just not true. Stop.

6:57 – Semi-interesting trivia: Jeff Williams majored in History; Michael Banducci majored in Biology aiming towards medical school. According to top med schools, which major is better if you’re going to go to med school? History. Everything you learn in pre-med biology, you’re going to learn over again in med school, so they say you should learn how to write well in pre-med (they recommend a History or English major).

7:00 – Banducci wins. GG Jeff.
Norm – “In college you were playing $2 tourneys to try to earn beer money, what can you buy with $636,000?”


Banducci – “A lot of beer.”
A bad answer and an even worse idea.


One Response to Justin Shronk – Funny Mother F’er.

  1. Hey, Thanks! Shoot me an email at the address I left.

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