How to Cheat at Poker

School Cheat

I saw this posted on msn somewhere…so just in case you want to nick your friends out of a few bucks in the home game: 

SOME CARD CHEATS ARE ENTERPRISING: marked decks, complex devices up the sleeve, secret codes of earlobe tugging known only to a partner in crime. But if you’re like most people, you’re that glorious combination of slightly crooked and a little lazy. So here we present the four easiest ways to hoodwink your poker buddies. All of which, of course, we strongly condemn.

SHORTING THE POT. Both amateurish and absurdly effective. Call an eight-dollar bet with six bucks in chips. Throw them directly into the pot before anybody has a chance to count them.

FAKING A HAND. If you miss drawing to your flush but get a card of the same color, just fan out your matching cards and tuck the fifth card behind them so only the colored number can be seen. Just be ready to look shocked (shocked!) if somebody catches you.

THE PREMATURE CALL. Trust us–this works. When the other guy raises you on the final bet, pick up your chips but don’t throw them in the pot. Then announce your hand. Nine out of ten times, your opponent will think you called his raise. If you win, take the pot. If you lose, you saved a couple bucks for hooch.

DEALING FROM THE BOTTOM. Takes about as much dexterity as snapping your fingers. Hold the deck loosely and angled down, with your right thumb pointing toward you. When you deal the bottom card, simply flick your middle finger instead of your thumb. Of course, this won’t help unless you know what the bottom card is. Not a problem: Bend back the card and use the width of the deck as a cover). One other tip, just in case: Sit near the door and leave the car outside, engine running.

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